Phone Calls from Home

phone_screenshotOut of the 39 years that I have lived on this earth, 10 of them have been away from home (out of state) and about 30 of them have been out of my parents house. In cases like this the phone becomes like a needed commodity as well as a element of fear.

Sometimes, picking up the phone and hearing a voice that you haven’t heard in weeks or months makes you feel like everything is okay.  That is most of the time for me. There are times though that I get a phone call while I am doing other things and for a moment, I get irritated, “Why are they calling me”? Don’t they know that I am…but the fact is they don’t know. They don’t know that at that moment when they are calling, you are trying to concentrate and listen to a presentation in a meeting that was deemed important. They don’t know that in 10 minutes you need to complete a email to someone so that they will understand why you sent the email before that.  They don’t know.

All they remember was that just weeks ago when they called – regardless of the time of day, you picked up the phone and said ‘hey”. I hope they know I still love them even if they get my voice mail.

The other times when the phone becomes just a tool of sadness and what feels like un-endless pain is when a message has to be given to you over the phone that in most cases should be told to you face-to-face. I’ve had those calls too. I learned that a favorite teacher passed and my that my aunt transitioned over the phone. I also learned that my nieces or nephews were sick or hurt. That my dad was in the hospital. These are horrible calls. There is nothing you can do, but sit, disturbed, looking at that damned phone. Moments like this makes you struggle with living your life and being away from things that matter.

Anxiety can sometimes build in you, the fears of things that have not happen but could. I think that is the worse. Wondering what may have happened last night while we all slept. But, just as I worry about those people on the other side of my receiver, they are worrying and loving me too.

Today my niece called me during a work meeting. She called twice. The first time I ignored it. The second time I couldn’t. I stopped the meeting for 30 seconds to say “hey” and “I will call back” and “I love you”. Calls from home are good.

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