I love this rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel “Iz” Kaʻanoʻi Kamakawiwoʻole. I read about his life and that complications from obesity was the reason for his early death (He died at 38). Yet, though he may have been young and his physical appearance did not fit the standard of beauty, his should…his soul could only be gorgeous. You hear it in each note and you see it with the smile on his face. Listening to him makes dreams seem so much more easier to get to and achieve. I needed to feel that today. I needed to feel that my dreams that seem far, are not far at all and that the journey to them are as beautiful as Iz’s voice.
It was always challenging for me to make friends. At the core, I am a quiet and shy person. It takes a lot of energy for me to connect with people. Most of my friends come from church, school, work or from organizations that I volunteer with. I appreciate all of the friends that I have. It’s not many, but they are people of sustenance and quality.
I have friends that I talk to at least once a week. I have friends that I haven’t spoken to for years, but if I saw them, I know that we would fall right back line, as though I just saw them yesterday. There are friends that, because of life’s situations, I cannot talk to anymore, but I will love forever. I think what makes a person a friend the connection that you have with them, through feelings and experience. People who think about you and know that your existence is important to their existence. A friend supports you in the good and the bad. A friend tells you when it is good and when it is bad. I just recently turned 40 and it made me examine the people in my life and why they were there. I stopped to see who was no longer there. I’ve lost a lot of people in my life that I thought would alway be there. Most of the time, I lose them because I said something they do not agree with. Truth has gotten me in trouble with people and have created a quiet existence for me, at times. Now, at 40, I am thankful for the friends I had when I had them. I am thankful for what I learned from them and hope that I made their life better in some way.
Sometimes I wonder if I am a good friend. I know I listen, I laugh and support, but I do keep most people at an arms distance. In most cases, I will know a lot more about my friend than they will know about me. Their is a safety in that for me. Maybe that is unfair to my friends.
My Pops said that it is harder to make friends the older you get. I see some truth in that, but I think when our lives change, people drop out and that make room for other people to come in. I do think that is where I am now. I do.
I appreciate my friends. The ones I have and the one I will have.