My brother and I have some weird conversations when we are car pooling to work. This particular day we were chatting about TV and movie remakes like Hawaii 5-0, Texas Chainsaw and Knight Rider. He and I were big Knight Rider fans as kids and I said that a movie or TV show like Knight Rider couldn’t make it today. Too many of our cars can do some of the same things that K.I.T.T (Knight Industries Three Thousand) could do; like talk and navigate and provide internal phones and video streaming. “Why would someone want to watch a show or movie about a car that does nothing more than what their own car does? What does K.I.T.T. have that my car doesn’t have?”, is what I asked my brother and he admittedly said, “K.I.T.T. has heart man, K.I.T.T. has heart.”
After a little silence, we both busted out laughing. But the truth is how many times have we watched a show, kept a book, loved a person because they had heart and character?
I’ve been wanting to break into a different style of drawing and painting. I love my “Colorful Women” series and will always add to the series, but I need to do other things. When this need to create something different happens to me, I always go back to gesture drawing or loose drawings. So for my Creative Friday Series, I want to share some of those drawings with you:
I did create one Colorful Woman illustration during my loose drawing session.
The lines we create say a lot about us and our state of mind and creativity. What do my lines say about me?
I like anime and manga. I do. I think in some ways it helps my creative flow and I so wish I could draw such cool characters. One of my favorite anime series is Bleach. It is about a teen who takes on the power of a soul reaper and is then given the responsibility to save humanity. Of course you have power struggles and love triangles and the like. Tonight, while watching [ADULT SWIM] a commercial for Bleach came on and it said: “DEATH IS ONLY THE BEGINNING.” That caught my attention.
In America, physical death is considered an end. Looking at death as an ending has created such a fear of death in our society and in some ways I think it has made us short sided in how we develop beliefs and how we come to truths. Some years ago, my own fear of death got so paralyzing that I had to research it and really delve myself into it to become okay with my ultimate point in my life. To my thankful surprise in many other cultures, death is not an end. It is not a cold place of nothing, but it is a transition to something new and different and hopefully more enlightening.
If you think about it, every time we transition from one thing to another, there is some pain and uncertainty involved. But many times, without that pain, that change that little bit of death, we would not be the people we are. So DEATH or CHANGE is only the beginning, not the end. Let’s not be afraid of it in any part of our lives.
I want to thank you for showing me how to survive the struggles of everyday life. The way your winds move. The way that you survive the masses sharp tongue. Through controversy and determination your lights seem to glow from the sunlight to moonlight. The instant I touched your skin I knew you blessed me. The lessons learned in the arteries of your soul can never be replaced. Kind of makes your friends and associates unique from man to woman to child. It’s a time when money matters the most, yet money doesn’t matter tonight. You instill courage during the roughest of times. When I leave you I miss the security you bring during all the chaos other people obsess about.
You are the true home of the brave. When most people turn their backs on you I’m here for you. As only a true friend, peer and confidant can. The only person I can trust to hold me and house me. Feed me when I hunger for your certainty. Clothe me when I walk through cold winter and hot summers. Your soul runs through my veins. The reason the world moves how it moves. You turned trips to an adventure without even trying. Unless they know you how can they judge you?
You’re so contradictory. From the Renaissance to the graffiti throughout this magnificent piece of canvas you have provided us. From the smiles to cold empty stares that you inspire. I accept all your faults. Dreams fulfilled and nightmares turned reality. We represent you to the fullest extent. No one can talk about you bad too us. We are the warriors that protect you from outsiders. The people who got your back no matter what. We love you.
Why are your people struggling so? Where are the signs of life you usually have? I can’t believe the grass is literally greener on all other sides. I have to be honest with you. I feel you gave power to some people that used you. Drained you, but yet you have a lot of strength left. I see those veins pumping through your inner soul. Your heart is beating barely but you still give us hope. Through prayer I hope that I can provide you some type of hope. Hope that my kids can be as proud of you as I am.
You raised me and guided me through a lot of diversity. In the ghetto singing songs called survival. When it rains on you I see the rainbow amongst the clouds. I lay with you when it’s time to rest. Get up with you when you stretch in the morning. We are so congruent I breathe when you exhale. I hug you in crisis because I feel your pain. I take those shots for you all the time. The pain from words spoken from those who don't know you. Judging you. Defending your honor like a warrior should. I fight for you.
On the frontline of this war for that glory I know you can protrude. You possess different asphalt than anyplace anywhere else. It’s very scary how someone so dangerous can be so intriguing and sensual. So disturbing that it angers me, but I always tell you it will be okay. I don’t need to tell you where you lie with me. You have been there for me when my life has been contaminated. Altered by choices reality brings. I can always count on you with open arms.
I love you and will always hold you in my heart. No matter where I go you will be there. You run in my veins and my heart pumps you. Well, I just wanted to let you know that. I’ll keep in touch with you. Until next week.
I woke up this morning around 5:45 am. Today was my day for car pooling. I am glad I am making my family’s carbon footprint smaller, but I am not a person to get up at 5:45 and get right into action. So I sat for a minute while the light of the TV flickered and eventually caught my attention. I was surprised to see an old evangelical show on the air that I thought was long gone. Now, the faces on the show were new, but the words and everything else was the same ol’ same ol’. My spiritual beliefs have changed some since I was a kid going to church and so have some of my other beliefs. So today in my groggy state, I wondered about what were my beliefs – old and new.
Here are some things I use to believe and what I believe about these things now:
Old Belief:I truly believed that I was an angel and that God sent me here to do some kind of good works. New Belief:I think I stopped believing this at around 12 and begin believing it again at 31.
Old Belief:Boys make very good friends New Belief: This is still true for me (easy to manipulate (menacing laugh)).
Old Belief:Markena Jones would always be dear to me. New Belief: She was one of my first true friends and though we have separate lives in different states, I still feel this way about her.
Old Belief:I would be rich at the age of 40. New Belief: I believe this – especially since my definition of “rich” has changed.
Old Belief:That the world would end in 2000 (kinda conflicted with me becoming rich at 40). New Belief: Maybe the world as we knew it did end in 2000.
Old Belief:That I could not draw or paint anything bigger than 8.5 x 11. New Belief: So not true anymore. The last painting I created was 3ft x 6ft).
Old Belief:I am smarter than everyone that I met. New Belief: Ha! I believe that everyone I meet teaches me something.
Old Belief:The world is a place with a lot of pain and sorrow and little happiness. New Belief: The world is full of happiness, but for some reason, we have chosen to focus on the bad.
Old Belief:Marriage is an experiment in inequality. New Belief: The jury is still out on this one.
Old Belief:No one saw me as a black female, but as a human spirit. New Belief: I am not sure how people see me and I believe that it doesn’t really matter.
Old Belief:Math is as fun. New Belief:I still believe this one. I always see
Old Belief:My mother had some kind of magic power where she could be everywhere I was and everywhere my siblings were (?????). New Belief: As a kid we really don’t go many places so it wasn’t so much magic as it was having limited locations to be.
Old Belief:That music can make the world beautiful. New Belief: This is true. Prove to me it isn’t.
Old Belief:I am not an attractive person and that I would have to be smart to get anywhere in this world (Well. Let’s move on.)
Old Belief:Adults should watch cartoons. It may make them less tense New Belief: TRUE!!!!!.
Old Belief:Black and white are colors (I learned in art school that these are considered neutrals. Ironic huh?). New Belief: Black and white are accents.
Old Belief:God was there to punish me (The only one punishing me is me)
Old Belief:My twin would always be my side. New Belief: My twin will always be there for me.
Old Belief:My Uncle Leonard was the greatest uncle in the world. New Belief: Same as the old belief.
Old Belief:Anything green should not be eaten – with the exception of green apples with caramel on them. New Belief:Wow, don’t believe this one anymore. I eat vegetable and fruit with most meals. A complete 180 on this one.
Old Belief:I should never do bad things. New Belief:
Old Belief:Mothers have the best hugs. New Belief: Very True.
This list could go on and on and on. So, where am I now with my beliefs? Well, what I believe is not as important as what I know and what is true. Truth and knowing is going to shape my beliefs anyways. So here are the things that I know.
The world is full of beautiful people who are seeking love, so we should give each other love without fear
By loving myself I can better love others
Loving others will make the world more beautiful and give more of us the courage and desire to make good choices for ourselves and others
Peace is possible once more of us live a life of love
Mothers really do give the best hugs.
The poster in this post was found on junoondesigns.com. It has a beautiful design and message “Believe in Yourself.” But go beyond that. Love yourself too. Like who you are and you will certainly enjoy life more.